Friday, September 17, 2010

Do instead of Dream

I have a tendency to be consumed by my emotions. It seems to always be some sort of extreme. When I'm happy, I sparkle. When I'm angry you'd better watch out. When I'm sad shadows cloud my face. All my strength goes into that one emotion, and that emotion is almost always dependent on something or someone I'm currently fascinated by.

Last night I had an insomniatic epiphany. Instead of focusing on something or someone else, why not put all that energy into myself? All my energy and time could be redirected to something constructive. When I'm unhappy it's because whoever I'm infatuated with doesn't reciprocate those feelings. But with this redirection of thoughts, the person I'll be thinking about *will* care, because that person is me!

And I care about me.

All this newfound energy would be focused on getting to know myself better. To become the person I know I'm capable of being. I don't need to be that person tomorrow, but I need to take the first baby step. That means taking action. Doing instead of dreaming.

The problem is, whenever I’m inspired/motivated like this I try to do too much with no feasible way of doing everything all at once. I overstretch myself, and I expect immediate results. When those results don’t manifest the way I envision, I get impatient, lose interest, or just plain get confused with what to do next.

I lose my focus. And end up doing nothing at all. Of course I have the deluded intention of getting back to it when really, it’s just an excuse to do nothing at all. With this new redirected energy focused on myself, maybe I’ll be able to work through the glamor of inspiration.

Thinking isn't doing. It's great to dream. Dreams make the world go round. But there comes a point where you need to say enough is enough and give yourself a swift kick in the ass. If I want to make my dreams a reality, then I must take action.

Do instead of dream.

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